Since becoming a mom, I’ve been struck time and again by how much we are like little children.
One day at lunch, I was sitting at the table with my son. He was sitting in his high chair, diligently eating when he asked me for more food. I could see clearly that he had more food on his tray. But his cup was blocking his view. “Move your cup,” I told him.
His urgent voice continued to repeat “more” when he saw that I wasn’t getting up from the table to get him more food. I wasn’t providing food in the way he expected me to, so he didn’t listen to me. He persisted in his demands of “more” while I simply told him the instruction I had given before: “move your cup.”
In his little mind, what I was asking from him wasn’t related to what he wanted. What I was telling him was about his drink which he thought had nothing to do with him getting more food. He couldn’t see what I could see so he ignored what I was telling him to do.
Aren’t we just like this when it comes to God?
We don’t obey when we don’t understand the command. When God asks us to do something that doesn’t make sense to us, we reason it away thinking we know better how God should provide for us. We tell Him, “No, God, I want your direction in this area of my life, not that one. Just tell me what to do about this situation.”
And we fail to obey the instructions he has already given us.
Even when I told my son, “there is more food on your tray, just move your cup,” he didn’t understand. His little mind is still learning language and he couldn’t connect all those words and ideas together. He understood what I meant when I said, “move your cup,” but he couldn’t understand why. So he didn’t want to do it. He didn’t have the same perspective as me.
We often don’t understand how God is working. Our perspective is so much smaller than His. When we don’t trust Him, it’s because we are seeing and trusting in our own puny vision and reasoning.
But He is working.
He knows what is for our ultimate good (which might look different than we think it should). And sometimes He takes us to our destination in ways that we never could have dreamed up, if we will only follow His guidance… even in things we don’t understand.
Starting this blog is me “moving my cup.”
For a long time, I have known that God has called me to write. I have always expected that I would write fiction, novels, and follow in the footsteps of Francine Rivers (a girl can dream, right?). And I may still do that. But over the last year, God has grown my heart for nonfiction. Once again, I expected to be writing books. Pregnancy and a newborn stopped me from moving forward with that dream, and figuring out life with two kids seemed to sap all my love for writing right out of my bones.
But God has been growing that desire in me once again. He laid it on my heart to start a blog. I’ve fought it, of course. “Why would I want to start a blog? I like reading them, but no, I’m supposed to write books, God.”
Maybe I am. Someday. But as I have started obediently pursing this blog, I have felt the peace that God gives when we start walking in His will. Peace that I can’t muster up on my own. And I know that I am obediently moving my cup so that He can lead me to whatever is next.